My Darkness. My fear.

   When I say that I'm scared of the dark, I don't mean the dark at night. I mean something else. I mean my nightmares, my fears and my depression. It is one thing that I can't describe properly. The Dark for me is myself. I live in the dark, i breath and eat in the dark. The dark makes me feel scared. It renders me helpless, and I can't stop it.

My only fear

   It can't stop, nor can I make it stop. When it happens, it happens. There is no way out of it. The dark is where I go when I cut myself. And I can assure you that I do as well. I do cut myself when it comes. The time of day it comes to me is at evening and in the afternoon. I go into it, and I stop threre. I will say now, writing this now, at this second, and probably when you are reading this, I am in my darkness. Its something which came with my depression. And I wish it never happened. I just want to stop it. And the only way is to commit suicide. And I don't want to do that, I will if it gets worse. I really will.