Depression my experience and its effects

[WARNING!! THIS BLOG POST INCLUDES IMAGES OF SELF HARM AND SOME PEOPLE MAY FIND IT UPSETTING]

  
 Hello loyal readers. I said I would do a post on depression, so here it is. This is going to give you the information on depression and its destructive nature on people. I will be relating to my experiences to it so do bear with me if I go on a tangent.

   Depression. What is it? What does it do to people and how does it affect you? Well I will tell you in this post. But please and will say now, this post will get deep and it could upset some people. So, if don’t want to read this, you don’t have to.

   The causes of depression:

   There are so many reasons for why people go into depression;

-          Like a break up with their partner
-      A repressed memory which scares them                  
-      Constant bullying
-      A bad childhood

   Whatever it is, it can upset people so much, that it then alienates them from a crowd of friends. It can then make people worried that they have no way in life and when that happens it creates problems. It can make people do the extreme, things like:

      -          Self-harm
      -       Self-poisoning
      -       Suicide

   That’s only three examples but there are many more ways. When I got depressed for the first time, I had no way of cheering up, I felt alone, sad and I had the idea that no one liked me. But that’s before I thought about self-harm. I only ever heard about self-harm and I thought it was a silly thing. But there was one point I decided that I had enough so that was when I first tried cutting.

   When people self-harm, it’s because they feel insecure with themselves. And as if they have to hurt themselves to get rid of the mental pain within themselves. A person can say that they are being silly but to them, it’s not silly, it’s just another way of dealing with their problems.

My experience with self-harm:

   I had only got into depression because I was liked by this girl, and she told me straight that she liked me. I got so busy in talking to her and organising to meet up with her that I wasn’t thinking about myself. Then one day, she then told me the worse thing. She was with someone else and that she didn’t like me. That was when I fell down into my abyss. I was so upset by it that I didn’t want to talk to no one, my college work had lapsed, I was bored of my life and I just didn’t want to live anymore. A couple of nights later, I was thinking of ways to kill myself. With no pain, no struggle, just a quick death. But that notion soon left my head because I realised that I didn’t have the guts for suicide.

   After that I lived my life as an alienated person. I had made myself into a hate with people and I liked that way of life. I didn‘t think about cutting at that point in life but that was soon to come. When I started out with self-harm, I had no idea what I was doing. I just went by with the idea. Take something sharp and cut into myself. The first ever thing I did was a huge “X” in my leg. I felt a lot better after. I actually thought it was a relief to hurt myself. After that, it became a regular thing. A bad day? Just cut myself, get rid of that stress by watching my blood drip. I have many more scars now. But, I can promise you this. I managed to stop cutting but it left me with ugly scars. And I was okay for a bit.

   I won’t lie and say that I’m not self-harming anymore, because I am. And people have told me that it’s an addiction and its attention seeking, but I assure you. It is NOT an addiction. And it is NOT attention seeking. It’s a way of life for me and I have seeked help but to no avail. I managed to find ways to deter myself form self-harm, like gaming, writing, drawing, smoking weed and listening to music. But I have recently found out that I am now addicted to gaming. That sounds silly, I know but it’s not. When I go on a game, I get so engrossed in that one game, that I feel like that I have left the real life and that nothing can hurt me anymore but when I stop playing, I stop living in that game. The same goes for weed, I stopped that now but I would start that up again but I won’t.

What you can do to help:

   There are many ways you can help. You can:

-          Become their guide, by that I mean that you offer them advice. Take them out somewhere fun.
-      Be there for them in their hour of darkness
-      Not tell them not to cut, and don’t force them to stop. They have to make that choice.

      -       Ask them every day “How was your day?”

   If you do this, they will see that they are not alone!!!!

   There are tell-tale signs too:

      -      Wearing long sleeved tops- obviously, it’s going to be hard to tell in winter but in summer it will become clearer.

-      A look of pain on their face- if they go to toilet or in another room, and they seem to have to have a more less pained look on their face.

   I can’t promise that these are the exact signs, but these are the two most common ones!!!

   If it is of any help, I can help you out by giving you a few pointers on how to show how you are feeling without telling people directly that you are depressed. Heres a few ideas:

   - Put up lyrics on Facebook which reflect the way you are feeling. Like Papa Roach - Scars
    

    "I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel"

    

- Say that you have had a bad day and that you just want to talk to a friend about it.



- Inbox someone you know who can help you

- DO NOT MAKE THE HABIT OF LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC!!!!   

 So, that’s done. I hope you manage to help friends and family. It is the most destructive thing known to mankind. Other than war and conflict. It can tear families, relationships and friendships apart. Thank you taking the time to read this. Remember, read this, share this and tweet it.

N.B. I would just like to point out right now, that the three images on this blog post are real and they are images of my own body. The vertical scar is on my bicep and the "LONER" is on my lower arm, the one with blood running from it is near the "LONER".